Dartoid's Reviews
Darts in England, 1900-1939 – A Social History
May 17, 2010 Column 390
It should come as no surprise that Patrick Chaplin’s more than decade-long research earned him the first and only Ph.D. “in darts” from Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge in 2006 – and darts enthusiasts everywhere are in for an indulgence now that a popular treatment of Chaplin’s dissertation is available on the market.
Chaplin’s dissertation-turned-treatise, Darts in England, 1900-1939 – A Social History (Manchester University Press, 2009), is meticulously researched and precise to a degree unprecedented among the efforts of those who have previously attempted to chronicle the history of the sport of darts and his academic attention to detail instills confidence in his findings.
The Art of Darts
June 8, 2009 Column 360
It seems that John Lowe is angling to publish as many books as he’s won tournaments. His fifth book – The Art of Darts (Hodder and Stoughton) – hit the stands on May 28 to mixed reviews.
Some have taken issue with the cover.
Others have pointed out a typographical error or two and a mistaken reference to Canada’s John Part having won only two world championships, suggesting the book was rushed.
The Crafty Cockney's "Autobiography"
December 17, 2008 Column 340
Perhaps it’s just me and perhaps it doesn’t matter – but as I recall my third grade teacher’s explanation, an autobiography is a book written by the bloke it’s about and a biography is written for a bloke who can’t write by another bloke who can. So when in 1985 Deryk Brown penned the official biography of controversial darts legend Erik Bristow, well... that made sense.
But now, Paul Carter (a career sports journalist known most recently for writing the critically un-acclaimed Behind Palace Doors) has (as Bristow himself acknowledges) written the Crafty One’s autobiography and, well... that just doesn’t make sense. Either that or my third grade teacher was wrong, not that that matters either.
The Dart League King
September 8, 2008 Column 331
In the history of time, at least in the English language (I am including British-speak as English, to be kind) there have been less than 75 books written about darts. Of course there are several about the old Dodge Dart and poison dart frogs but they don’t count. Among the real darts books only six are novels. Now there is a third. The Dart League King (to be released by Tin House Publishing on October 1 and available by preorder here is Keith Lee Morris’ third book. An associate professor of English and creative writing at Clemson University, Morris has also had several short stories published in the New England Review and Story Quarterly, among others. And, most important here, he knows darts – having played for years. He even once founded a league.
Murder on the Darts Board
February 1, 2008 Column 314
Justin Irwin is his name and darts was his game – for a year – and now this most famous non-famous man in darts has written a book about his experience. Oddly entitled Murder on the Darts Board (although some might argue that Suicide on the Darts Board would be the more accurate title), this lively account was released by Portico Books on January 7 and is available everywhere books about darts are sold, which means, I guess, not widely.
The “Golden Girl”
January 3, 2008 Column 312
I’ve just flipped the final page of Gulliver’s 309-page manuscript, co-authored by Doctor of Darts Patrick Chaplin. Scheduled to be released by John Blake Publishing of London in just days to coincide with Gulliver’s quest for an unprecedented eighth world championship at Lakeside, “The Golden Girl – The Autobiography of the World’s Greatest Ever Ladies’ Darts Player” offers something for all darts enthusiasts, particularly any female who aspires to darts greatness, and randy males.
The Sun Darts Quiz Book
July 8, 2007 Column 307
A new little darts book has popped onto the market. Compiled by Chris Bradshaw and published by HarperCollins, The Sun Darts Quiz Book is a fun read and, priced at roughly ten bucks, it’s a book worthy of a place in the library of any darts enthusiast.
The book is short at just 260 pages, but it’s crammed to the gills with 2,000 trivia questions. They cover the rules of the game, tournament history, the players and more.
A Comment about Bellies and Bullseyes...
October 1, 2007 Column 304
There was a lot of CRAP flyin’ about in the run up to the publication of Sid Waddell’s newest book, Bellies and Bulls-eyes – The Outrageous True Story of Darts, and I want to say, right here and now, that what some people were saying was just plain CRAP, or have I already said that?
“Bad cover, bad idea, bad publicity for the sport, bad intention to make money off the backs of the dart players,” posted someone at a popular darts website, echoing the uninformed opinion of many – none of which, at the time the postings were made, had even picked up the damn book. “Oh well,” posted another, “it’s just a… stumble back in our journey to show people how much talent and skill it takes to master this sport…we will prevail.”
Hairspray!!!
August 1, 2007 Column 302
So, when I heard that the old movie Hairspray was being reprised I began saving my money. You can buy a small car these days for the price of a bag of popcorn, but every marriage requires an extravagance now and then. So last Friday night my wife and I splurged – we headed to a packed-to-capacity theater to catch the premier of the new Hairspray, ordered TWO bags of popcorn, and had an absolutely fantastic time.
Hey Dummy! We’re Talkin’ about a Darts Light!
March 1, 2007 Column 287
YES, we’re talkin’ about a dartboard light but we’re not talking about just any light. We’re talkin’ about a spectacular invention that is certain to someday be as widely used as Julie Mayfield was back at Flint, Central High School in 1969.
It’s called the Circumluminator because, unlike traditional dartboard lights that don’t work worth crap, this light surrounds the board like a giant Krispy Kreme doughnut and illuminates the board perfectly sans even the hint of a shadow or glare. It’s a marvelous thing.
THAT'S THE WAY TO WRITE IT, Bobby George!!!
February 1, 2007 Column 282
The thing about Bobby George’s first book, Bobby Dazzler, My Story, is that you don’t need to read a review to decide whether or not you want to plunk down money to buy the book. Just as you know you gotta watch when George bounds on stage decked out like Elvis, dripping in jewelry, and carrying a candelabra, the sizzling Dazzler cover more sells the steak that follows.
There’s George, smiling, hand on chin...
Bulls Eye - the Movie
November 6, 2006 Column 276
“Last year, more people were killed by auto accidents, heat stroke, lung cancer and natural causes combined than by any one tomato.”
-- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, 1978
No, this column is not about the cult classic Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, possibly the worst flick ever made. It’s just that produced as it was on a shoestring budget with a cast of amateurs spouting non-sequiters throughout a half-baked plot, it came to mind as I as screened Squawking Parrot Productions’ movie Bulls Eye. But don’t get me wrong – I mean this as a compliment.
A Review of Hawaii 501 – Life as a Darts Pro
April 18, 2006 Column 243
I’m gobsmacked! That’s a British term meaning handsome.
It turns out that I have something in common with a World Class darts player. His name’s Wayne Mardle and he published a book which I have just finished en route from Tampa, Florida to Bangkok, Thailand. I highly recommend it but suggest that you eat first.
I arrived in Bangkok, knackered (another British term) and hungry. Travel is a bitch, a view Mardle and I share, and that’s why I’m tired. But it’s the book that made me hungry. I’m dying for some Kentucky Fried Chicken. Read it and you’ll understand why.
Old Stoneface
November 1, 2005 Column 200
Let's be clear straight-away. Unless your name is Tony or Raymond (or Olly or Martin), there isn't anything in John Lowe's new book, Old Stoneface, that's not worth the price. If you're a darter at any level, or if you just want a good read about life, my advice is to go out and buy it NOW!
If by chance your name is Tony or Raymond, be forewarned. Tony: Your head's gonna spin like Linda Blair's did in The Exorcist. You're gonna spew green until cows fly like budgies. Raymond: Jij trekt de deurknop van de deur! (You're gonna rip the hinges off the old barn door!)
A Whole Lot of Bits about Something
January 1, 2004 Column 153
...Five hours later, as what’s left of Mount St. Helens appeared outside my window and the 747 began its descent towards Seattle I was pleasantly surprised to find myself turning the final page of George Silberzahn’s newest offering: “How to Master the Sport of Darts.”
Silberzahn has produced a winner here. He’s figured out a fresh way to present old but important subjects in a very readable fashion. And then, for extra and extremely effective measure, he reinforces his main messages by yielding more than half of the space between the covers of his manuscript to first-person bits of wisdom from some of the legends of the sport of darts in America.
To the Point (kinda) about To The Point
July 1, 2002 Column 127
When you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to form another word or phrase the result is often quite amusing. Sometimes it provides deep insight into the text being anagrammed. For example, the letters in Virginia Bottomley's name (a long-time Conservative member of British Parliament) can be rearranged to spell: I'm an evil Tory bigot. On Prince Edward Island in Canada, I once threw darts against Bottomley's husband, Peter. Isn't it interesting that the letters of Peter's first name don't need to be rearranged to be synonymous with the British term for something Bill Clinton should keep in his pants?
But this column isn't about anagrams or British politicians or even ex-presidents whose wives should divorce their sorry asses. It's about Missouri-author Dan William Peek's popular new book, To The Point. The thing is: I just can't help but find it curious that the letters in Peek's name can be rearranged to spell: ape-like wild-man. I don't know what this means. Maybe his wife, Joy Lynn, has an idea.
"Beers and Shots" Revisited
June 1, 2001 Column 106
It was Greg Cason from the Orlando Pub Darts League who alerted me to the amazing spread about darts that appeared in the April 2, 2001 issue of Sports Illustrated. I dashed off immediately to find a copy. I went to the corner convenience store. Nothing but the swimsuit issue. I hit a couple of 7-11's. Again, just swimsuit issues. I found a copy on Monday at Food Lion. Last night I finally had a chance to read the story. I'd have gotten to it sooner but, well, I had three copies of the swimsuit issue to examine first. Thanks Greg.
If you haven't placed your hands on a copy of the April 2 issue yet I encourage you to hunt one down. Freelancer, Steve Rushin, wrote a hell of a story and, as loathe as I am to admit it, pretty much captured everything that is flat out disgusting about our sport.
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5 Years Ago
